Alright Crew—Letz git DOWN TO BIZNESS.
FIRZT GOOD SIGN : A Buddy a mine wuz at the firzt AU scrimmage 3 weekz ago and told me—“Foe the Firzt time in 3-4 yeeeerz, we LOOK LIKE WE BELONG.”
We BIGGGA and FAZZZTER than the previous few yeeerz teeeemz.
ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM: Kan
Thorne be a “TOP 10 SEC QUARTABAKK???” He ain’t gottta be JAYDEN DANIELS. Heeez juzt gotta be efficient.
All off-seazun the kweztyun has been-----"duz the talent upgrade at reeeceeeeva make THORNE BETTTTA?"--We about to find out.
DUZ OFFENTZ JOIN THE PARTAY: Sum of yall know how DOC feeelz abot our OFFENTZ. Itz been ABZALOOOTLY TARRIBULL foe the lazt 5-6 yeeeerz. Iz dis the yeeer that we KUMPEEEET ON DAT SIDE OF THE BALL??????
When you add
SIMMMUNS, COLEMAN and PERCY-----------------SHIRLEY, you GOTTTA BE BETTTA.
TEEM STRANGTHS: LINEBACKA, RUNNIN BACK, KICKA.
I like our MULTITUDE of LINEBACKAZ. Maybe not an ALPHA yet in da group, but a lotta deeezent moving peeeces.
The DUKE TRANZFER will help
ASSANTE and
KEYES be a deeeezent SEC linebacking core.
I thank
RIDDDICK iz gunna end up WREAKING SUM HAVOC sumware.
I thank we all like our RUNNING BAKKKZ. Luv to see wun of them BUZT 12 HUNDY on the ground dis seazun
McGOUGH iz a MONZZZZZZZZTA!!!
TEEM WEEEKNESSES: SAFETY, O-LINE
Firzt off, we KNOCKIED IT OUTTA THE PARK wit the
DURKY hire. Errybody in kollege football wantz dat dude on staff.
HOWEVA, I beeeeleeeve deeefentz will be a tremenduzz challenge for this group. Obveeeeuzzzly, IF we kan generate SUM TYPE of OFFFENTZ, it wood help greatly.
I do thank thare’s a chantz of sum PROMISE in sum YUNG DEEE-LINEMAN.
BLOCKTON, TJ. LINZEEEEE and
WILLYUMS have got a CEILING that mozt of the kids dat weeeve reeeekrooted lately AIN’T GOT.
Sekenderrry iz gunna be an ISHUE I'm afraid. Thatz ok. If you want to have an ishue in da sekenderry, dis iz the yeeeeer to have it. We ain't playing a TUN of PASSSING QUARTABAKKKZ.
I thank RITE NOW, we got (2) bonified SEC OFFENTZIVE LINEMAN in
WRIGHT and
LEW. I thank thoze two wood start on a lot of SEC teeeemz. We reeely neeed 3-4 LEGIT lineman. The GOOD TEEEMZ have 4. Hopefully, sumbody will step up and help uz on the O-LINE.
THE BEZT NEWZ iz WUT YOU DON’T SEE:
NOKKZVILLE, BATUN ROOJ, OLE MIZZ and TEKKKSEZ ain’t on the SKEDDDDJY. Those are 4 of the “likely” TOP OFFENTZES in the entire SEC and WE AIN’T GOTTA PLAY THEM BITCHES.
Letz "BRAKEDOWN" a few games, IF YALL DON'T MIND:
ALABAMA A&M---Startin off against a QUARTABAKK that wun of our vary own,
@Boisgreat , coached amongst the youth fields of Alabama back in the day. QWAD iz a talented kid who started foe JAWJA STATE a few yeeeerz back.
I’m thankan
ALZZZZTON for about 178 and maybe a HOUSE CALL frum
SIMMMMMUNS on a reeee-tern.
Big shout out to DB,
MACK McCLINTON, for a 3rd QUARTA "SKOOOP N SKORE!!!"
Auburn 56
A&M 6
CAL----Grate measuring stick heeeeeer. Lazt yeeer we scored 12 points against CAL and it may have been wun of the WERZT OFFENTZIVELY PLAYED games by BOTH teeeeemz in the last CENTURY.
I sense a TITE WUN heeeeeeer. I’ve got the PENN STATE TRANZFER braking dis thang open MIDWAY through the 4th QUARTA wit a BUBBBA SKREEEN TO THE HOUSE.
Nice game by
CHAMP ANTHONY in dis wun. Finishes wit 8 tackles but DROPS a "PIKK SIKKS."
Auburn 23
CAL 16
NEW MEXICO---- FIRZZT time all seazun that we’ll see sum “DANGER” in the backfield. The GOLDEN FRYARS have a SHIFFFTY QUARTABAKK.
I’m starting to git an odd feeeeling dat
KAYLIN LEE grabs a PICK SIKKKZ beeefour HALFTIME and all of a sudden itz
“MOMENTUM CITAY.”
HUNTA take s DRAW 63 yards to ICE dis thang late in the 3rd.
How bout Hometown Boyee,
COLEMAN GRANDBERRRRY, wit the BLOCKED PUNT in dis wun!!!!
Auburn 39
New Mexico 18
ARKY---Firzzzt SEC game and
RIDDDICK and
KEYES are about DADGUM SICK of hitttin NON SEC PLAYAZ.
ARKY gotta littta FLARE at Quartabakk and will have sum sukkksess running it RITE AT OUR AZZZ.
HOWEVA, I'm kinda thankan that
SCOTT goes ALL
"LUKE SKYWALKER" on a 76 yard punt reee-tern to give the GOOD GUYS the LIFT we need.
MICHA RILEY DUCKA wit a HUGE KATCH on a 3rd down kunversion late in dis wun to seal it up.
Auburn 36
Arkansaw 29
OKLAHOMA----We been waiting FOE THEEEEEZE BITCHES ever sintz the firzzzt day the SKEDJJJJJY wuz announced.
CONNOR LEW and
BIG AZZ WRIGHT “PACK THARE LUNCH” on dis wun and juzt STEAM HANDLE them SOOONER BITCHES up the MIDDDDDA.
COBB katches a LITTTA SKREEEEEEN and ends up teeeeching sum of deeeez OKLAHOMA BOYEEEEEZ wut “MUNTGUMERY SPEEEEED” iz, if ya don’t mind!!!!
Auburn 24
Oklahoma 19
GEORGIA---Dis wun iz THE GAME OF THE YEEEEEEEER!!!!!! Auburn comes in undefeated. Athens comes in wit WUN LOSS.
Let me tell ya sumthang---NOBODY disappoints in dis wun!!!!!!! We go to the 4th QUARTA tied up at 16 and Athens gitz a TIPPED PASS brought back foe a 63 yard skore.
Wun last HAIL MARY HEAVE frum THORNE to COLEMAN gitz knocked away. Itz a tuff loss but the game confirms that----
"WE REDDDDDDDY."
Athens 23
Auburn 16
MIZZZOU---STEEEEEL ON STEEEEEEEL in dis wun BOYEEEEEEEEEZ. Two similar ROZZZZZZTAZ.
MIZZZOU iz gunna have sumthang to prooove at thare plaze.
Thay got sum skill on OFFENTZ and a HED COACH that knows OFFFENTZ BIGGGLY.
Reeeely good game heddded into the 4th heeeeeer. McGough haz a 46 yarder BLOCKED wit 2:19 remaining and the GOOOD GUYS LOOOOOZE.
Auburn 24
MIZZZZOU 27
LEKKKSINGTUN----“FLAT CITAY BABY!!!!” Wish I had BETTTTTA newz foe you Felllaz. 4 TURNOVERS including a fumble in the RED ZONE and a PICK SIKKKKKKKZ and Auburn STRUGGGLES BIGGGGLY in the
“HOUSE THAT SECRETARIAT BUILT.”
The only shining moment in dis wun iz BIG AZZ KELDRIC FAULK comes up wit a 41 yard
SKOOOOP N SKORE!!!!!!!
Auburn 19
Lekksingtun 21
VANDY----TUFF week of SOUL SERCHING in praktisss pays off in dis wun. THORNE hitz COLEMAN DEEEEEEEEP foe 81 yards on the FIRZT DRIVE and itz ALL DOWN HILL frum thare.
Big game by
COBB wit 16 carries foe a BUCK FORTY THREE!!!!
BIG AZZZ
RAIKES and
LINDZEEEEEE hold dat COMMODORE rushing attack UNDA 60 yards!!!!!
Lozt in the shuffle of the big victory iz
CHAPPPY POOO wit a 79 YARD BOMB to pin the DORES DEEEEP beeefour half time!!!
Auburn 36
Vandy 11
ULM----Fiesty littta opponent the CHIPPEWAWS are. Cute littta OFFFENTZ wit a lottta DINKS and DUNKS.
It wuzzzzn’t too cute when
ASSSANTE steps in frun of WUNNNNA THOZE “DINKS” in the 2nd QUARTA and takes that bitch 74 yards for our 3rd skore of the game.
NICE game by
KALEB HARRIS on the BACK END wit 2 pass brake ups and a PIKKK.
AGGIES---We NEEED dis wun FELLLLAZ BIGGGGLY. Luckily
THORNE ABZALOOOTLY SLAWTERS AZZZ wit hiz LEGGGGGZ in dis wun.
Down 7-0 in the 2nd QUARTA—we BUZZT a QB DRAW foe FITTTTTY.
JC HART comes up wit a MONZZZTA BLITZ on AGGY Quartaback, Jefferson Shields, that results in a fumble in the RED ZONE.
Not a PRETTY game, BUT, a GRITTTY game that we needed.
THORNE rushes for 109 yards and
McGOUGH nails 4 FIELD GOALS.
Auburn 26
AGGIES 24
Tuzkaloooooza----The Graytezt RIVALRY in sports continues wit an OLD FASHION SWAMP RUKKUS in the confines of “STALLINGS/DENNY FIELD”.
Grate job by
KENT and
FREEEEZY az we BLOW and GO to the tune of 475 OFFFENTZIVE YARDS.
Unfortunately, the tuzkalooooza quartabakk rushes foe 2 HUNDY and thay kick a LATE FIELD GOAL to git uz.
Auburn 27
Tuzkaloooza 30
So, in closing, we GETTTIN BETTTTTTTA!!!! Long way to go.
But, wut I see this seazun iz a ROSY:
8-4
@crococile22
@stutsman23
@Big Blue
@grizzlyadams16 
auburn.rivals.com
