Why don't men wipe to the front?

Discussion in 'The Open Forum' started by David Hasselhoff, Jun 30, 2017.

  1. David Hasselhoff

    David Hasselhoff NOW SANS ASTERISK
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    Ladies, you get a pass. I understand you don't wanna spread yore turdmaker to yore Hog-Taker. Nobody likes poo snootch.

    Men, don't give me that, "bc I don't want to get pewp on my boys". I've never once gotten sheeyit on my bawllz (from wiping to the front). I'm way more scared about smearing it up my crack. You can see so much better this way.

    Grab yore junk, throw it over yore shoulder, and get dat booty clean.

    And if you disagree with me, YOU AIN'T SHIT
     
  2. Drunk Uncle Bob

    Drunk Uncle Bob All-American
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    I can't really argue for one way or the other. I think I'll stick to front to back though. It's what I came out of the womb doing.
     
  3. jeb3

    jeb3 All-American
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    I'm used to the small end of the corn cob pointing to the back, easier to grip.
     
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  4. tugmac

    tugmac First Round Draft Pick
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    Clean taint is a happy taint.
     
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  5. SWauBurn

    SWauBurn All-American
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    Not sure, I use a Bidet.:p
     
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  6. buzzy1994

    buzzy1994 All-American
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    My son is 18. His best friend can complete the act wipe and all in under 20 seconds. Its quite incredible. I need to ask him about his technique. I think his PR is 13 seconds. Be proud of this young man because both will be freshman at Auburn in the fall and officially part of the family.
    Auburn Fast
     
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  7. WarEagleG

    WarEagleG G IS FOR 'GROOVE'
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    I do.
     
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  8. Boisgreat

    Boisgreat NOT 'BOISE'
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    It is metaphysically impossible for me to wipe from the front.
     
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  9. Docdumpsta

    Docdumpsta NOT HOOTIE
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    "TURD MAKER TO HAWG TAKER!!!!!"
    Keep doin wut yo azz duz HOFF!!!
    Dat wun SLAYED MY AZZ!!!
     
  10. URTigerBait

    URTigerBait All-American
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    I found a mix of the two works best. Still cannot prop my butt on the counter and wash it though. The idea is to attempt to give your dumps around a shower when possible.
     
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  11. Kubota Joe

    Kubota Joe All-SEC
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    Because if you've got a dangler you run the risk of it falling on your hand as it passes underneath to do a frontal approach, unless you access from between your legs as the ladyfolk do, in which case you're no longer worthy to even comment in this thread. Once the first pass is made and all is clear then a frontal approach is safe and it becomes a matter of preference. Personally I'm ambidextrous and can go either way.
     
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