I already know what the responses will be but I submit to the bored nonetheless.
There is a guy in my office, let’s call him Paul. Paul is very intelligent and does a good job of what he’s asked to do at work. He’s also the least socially aware person I’ve ever met, does not understand boundaries, and is gay (even if he doesn’t know it yet). Paul has tried (multiple times) to give a shoulder/back massage to another man in my office, and has been asked to stop multiple times by said guy.
Let’s stop here to confirm, for the record, that I am neither the back massager nor the recipient. I am fully aware that the first 7 responses to this post will be some form of “Finkle is Einhorn” retort, to which will not find my amusement. Paul and I do not have a good relationship and we are both aware of it and he would never attempt to do something like that to me because he knows how it would end. Termination and a meeting in the nearest Wachovia parking lot.
Anyhoo, the guy who this is happening to is a great guy and I consider him a friend, and he is far too nice to do something about it. He did tell Paul, multiple times, that it was inappropriate and made him uncomfortable and that it creeped him out. I told my friend that I would talk to management and let them know what was happening and if he was doing it to a woman in the office his ass would be grass on the spot. However, the guy just plays it off as Paul being a weirdo and has asked me not to report him to management.
Should I acquiesce to his request and leave this alone? Should I tell management and potentially get Paul fired while losing trust in my coworker I consider a friend? For the record, I have seen 1 of the instances and heard the other from the office next door, so it’s not a he said/he said incident. It was a disturbing incident to watch unfold bc Paul had absolutely no clue that what he was doing was wildly inappropriate and if he did that to a female colleague he would be shipped out the door without warning. I wish I said something when it happened but I was just so caught off guard that I just stared at Paul with my mouth opened like an idiot, like “did I see what I really just saw” on my face.
I am conflicted and also biased bc I do not like Paul as a coworker or person, and management knows all about my disdain for him. But also I think management deserves to know what is happening while also knowing that it would probably lead to Pauls firing (he has been on his last straw for non-inappropriate behavior for what feels like months now, but management won’t pull the trigger). I don’t want to put my friend in an uncomfortable position in case Paul is repremanded but not fired bc they would still have to work together.
I’m leaning towards telling management, and when they confront Paul about his behavior, make sure that he knows that it was me that turned him in and not my friend. But I’m also concerned that it’s not my place to tell, tho if it were a woman it happened to I would tell management immediately and not think twice about it. Very conflicted and need to know what the bunker would do in my situation.
There is a guy in my office, let’s call him Paul. Paul is very intelligent and does a good job of what he’s asked to do at work. He’s also the least socially aware person I’ve ever met, does not understand boundaries, and is gay (even if he doesn’t know it yet). Paul has tried (multiple times) to give a shoulder/back massage to another man in my office, and has been asked to stop multiple times by said guy.
Let’s stop here to confirm, for the record, that I am neither the back massager nor the recipient. I am fully aware that the first 7 responses to this post will be some form of “Finkle is Einhorn” retort, to which will not find my amusement. Paul and I do not have a good relationship and we are both aware of it and he would never attempt to do something like that to me because he knows how it would end. Termination and a meeting in the nearest Wachovia parking lot.
Anyhoo, the guy who this is happening to is a great guy and I consider him a friend, and he is far too nice to do something about it. He did tell Paul, multiple times, that it was inappropriate and made him uncomfortable and that it creeped him out. I told my friend that I would talk to management and let them know what was happening and if he was doing it to a woman in the office his ass would be grass on the spot. However, the guy just plays it off as Paul being a weirdo and has asked me not to report him to management.
Should I acquiesce to his request and leave this alone? Should I tell management and potentially get Paul fired while losing trust in my coworker I consider a friend? For the record, I have seen 1 of the instances and heard the other from the office next door, so it’s not a he said/he said incident. It was a disturbing incident to watch unfold bc Paul had absolutely no clue that what he was doing was wildly inappropriate and if he did that to a female colleague he would be shipped out the door without warning. I wish I said something when it happened but I was just so caught off guard that I just stared at Paul with my mouth opened like an idiot, like “did I see what I really just saw” on my face.
I am conflicted and also biased bc I do not like Paul as a coworker or person, and management knows all about my disdain for him. But also I think management deserves to know what is happening while also knowing that it would probably lead to Pauls firing (he has been on his last straw for non-inappropriate behavior for what feels like months now, but management won’t pull the trigger). I don’t want to put my friend in an uncomfortable position in case Paul is repremanded but not fired bc they would still have to work together.
I’m leaning towards telling management, and when they confront Paul about his behavior, make sure that he knows that it was me that turned him in and not my friend. But I’m also concerned that it’s not my place to tell, tho if it were a woman it happened to I would tell management immediately and not think twice about it. Very conflicted and need to know what the bunker would do in my situation.
