Dear Will –
I hope you are doing well. Well actually after you took my ticket out of Starkville and proceeded to crater Lowered Urban’s program I hope you have head lice. I am writing you this letter to inform you on how I plan to exact my revenge. I do appreciate your boyish good looks, I envy your strong jawline, your executive hair drives me nuts, and of course your attitude…that fiery nature. If I had any 2 of those I wouldn’t be stuck here in Starkville. So let’s get to it on three things I expect to happen that will set the tone for the game:
On covering the slot
If you don’t cover the slot man I will take the 6 -8 yards a play every single time. Dak’s quick release will frustrate the heck out you. I chuckle at the opportunities my 2* receivers will have against your ‘safeties’
in space. We will face a lot of 2nd and shorts as a result of your resistance to covering the slot but I expect Bully breaks one too.
Once you figure out that your two deep is just too simple, you will react. You are scared to let your corners play. I read on the bunker that the 7 yards cushions that the dinosaur played with were bull$hit, well we actually like the 12 yard cushion better…but that is beside the point. Because you are scared of you corners, I expect your first move will be to walk a linebacker out to take the slant away. We will run the lead with the QB until…well…you stop it which may be never. Also, know I don’t really care what you do with the LB as he can’t tackle anyway but we are talking schemes here.
You may elect to walk a safety down. I’ll be honest, that will make it a little harder. Dak isn’t the best throwing deep but I suspect you will resist this temptation for fear of giving up cheap points. We will be content to roll-up yards, control the clock and keep your dreadful offense from embarrassing themselves further.
On the read play
I think I have seen your Family have their assignments on the option play 1 time. That was on the goal line against LSU and needless to say your LB still whiffed the QB. That was easier to defend on the goal line given known assignments. That said, if the Family see that play anywhere else on the field you guys look totally lost and surprised by the play call. You do know that playing ‘soft’ with the end waiting on the Safety (playing 20 yard deep that took 10 false steps) for help went out in the 1997 right? We will run the read play to the weak side of the formation over and over. I can hear it now, the bunker will be screaming about some poor end playing soft (as instructed) ‘giving up the edge’ as Dak works him. Poor guy, he is not exactly setup for success is he? Again, if your safety gets there well then it is not that big of a deal as I doubt she will make the tackle in space. Let’s stick to schemes though.
On 3rd and 12
I do expect us to get behind the chains (probably due to penalties rather than good defensive plays) a couple times during the game. Given my distain for you over the Florida job I will take the most satisfaction in these plays. If you go to that set where you put 17 in the deep middle well then…buckle up. I cannot wait to run the lead draw with the QB. There are a few certainties in life, but death, taxes and getting 13 yards on the 3rd and 12 against this set with a simple draw are a few of them. This is when you will start seeing bunker members flying out of the stands like footballs kicked into the student section.
If you don’t take the easy stuff away then the UF guys may just look my way again. Anyway, keep up the emotion and mean faces as regardless of schemes and outcomes those are what counts.
Best of luck with the head lice,
Daniel
I hope you are doing well. Well actually after you took my ticket out of Starkville and proceeded to crater Lowered Urban’s program I hope you have head lice. I am writing you this letter to inform you on how I plan to exact my revenge. I do appreciate your boyish good looks, I envy your strong jawline, your executive hair drives me nuts, and of course your attitude…that fiery nature. If I had any 2 of those I wouldn’t be stuck here in Starkville. So let’s get to it on three things I expect to happen that will set the tone for the game:
On covering the slot
If you don’t cover the slot man I will take the 6 -8 yards a play every single time. Dak’s quick release will frustrate the heck out you. I chuckle at the opportunities my 2* receivers will have against your ‘safeties’
in space. We will face a lot of 2nd and shorts as a result of your resistance to covering the slot but I expect Bully breaks one too.
Once you figure out that your two deep is just too simple, you will react. You are scared to let your corners play. I read on the bunker that the 7 yards cushions that the dinosaur played with were bull$hit, well we actually like the 12 yard cushion better…but that is beside the point. Because you are scared of you corners, I expect your first move will be to walk a linebacker out to take the slant away. We will run the lead with the QB until…well…you stop it which may be never. Also, know I don’t really care what you do with the LB as he can’t tackle anyway but we are talking schemes here.
You may elect to walk a safety down. I’ll be honest, that will make it a little harder. Dak isn’t the best throwing deep but I suspect you will resist this temptation for fear of giving up cheap points. We will be content to roll-up yards, control the clock and keep your dreadful offense from embarrassing themselves further.
On the read play
I think I have seen your Family have their assignments on the option play 1 time. That was on the goal line against LSU and needless to say your LB still whiffed the QB. That was easier to defend on the goal line given known assignments. That said, if the Family see that play anywhere else on the field you guys look totally lost and surprised by the play call. You do know that playing ‘soft’ with the end waiting on the Safety (playing 20 yard deep that took 10 false steps) for help went out in the 1997 right? We will run the read play to the weak side of the formation over and over. I can hear it now, the bunker will be screaming about some poor end playing soft (as instructed) ‘giving up the edge’ as Dak works him. Poor guy, he is not exactly setup for success is he? Again, if your safety gets there well then it is not that big of a deal as I doubt she will make the tackle in space. Let’s stick to schemes though.
On 3rd and 12
I do expect us to get behind the chains (probably due to penalties rather than good defensive plays) a couple times during the game. Given my distain for you over the Florida job I will take the most satisfaction in these plays. If you go to that set where you put 17 in the deep middle well then…buckle up. I cannot wait to run the lead draw with the QB. There are a few certainties in life, but death, taxes and getting 13 yards on the 3rd and 12 against this set with a simple draw are a few of them. This is when you will start seeing bunker members flying out of the stands like footballs kicked into the student section.
If you don’t take the easy stuff away then the UF guys may just look my way again. Anyway, keep up the emotion and mean faces as regardless of schemes and outcomes those are what counts.
Best of luck with the head lice,
Daniel
