Best way to relieve severe constipation?

Discussion in 'The Open Forum' started by allen, Nov 12, 2016.

  1. allen

    allen All-American
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    Feel like my intestines are throwing a block party. pun intended . . Can't eat anything without hurting . Drinking fluids isn't much better.
     
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  2. creamkm

    creamkm All-American
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    Drink alcohol

    Edit: honestly, you prob need to go to the doc. Or let her PIIYB
     
  3. GG32

    GG32 First Round Draft Pick
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    Digital disimpaction

    [​IMG]
     
  4. aufan2005

    aufan2005 All-American
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    Anal beads may break it loose..I mean if you're into that.
     
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  5. TigerD

    TigerD All-American
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    Guthries
     
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  6. Aueku

    Aueku ROY KIDD BEHIND A KEYBOARD
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    CuCos in Montgomery. Works Everytime.
     
  7. BudS7342

    BudS7342 All-American
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    Bruh, go get you some liquid Magnesium Citrate at cvs or comparable pharmacy and you'll be looser than cream corn by tonight!
     
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  8. TigerTime099

    TigerTime099 First Round Draft Pick
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    Murilax.
     
  9. AUB03

    AUB03 First Round Draft Pick
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  10. AUTaxMan

    AUTaxMan First Round Draft Pick
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    Coffee will do it
     
  11. smitalb

    smitalb All-American
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    go to starbucks and get a Cold Brew black and drink at an aggressive pace. If you have a squatty potty you will be CLEARED of all wrongdoings.
     
  12. Rebz

    Rebz Redshirt Freshman
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    Wooden Spoon
     
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  13. allen

    allen All-American
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    Thanks. this crap hurts.
     
  14. allen

    allen All-American
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    Think that's part of the problem. Coming back from a week long cruise. Way to much booze consumed.
     
  15. allen

    allen All-American
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    Don't own any. Can I borrow yours?
     
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  16. djmeyer96aekdb

    djmeyer96aekdb First Round Draft Pick
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    Go to grocery store. Buy dulcolax. Stay close to an open bathroom. Prepare for explosive bathroom action for 24 hours.
     
  17. aufan2005

    aufan2005 All-American
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    Hahaha. For real though, stool softeners seem to work for me. Top that off with a little coffee and that shit, pun intended, should break loose.
     
  18. Pete_AU

    Pete_AU All-American
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    Sometimes, watch Auburn football. They make you want to shit yourself they will scare you so much.
     
  19. W.D.E.

    W.D.E. All-American
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    Coffee and a dip
     
  20. jacen

    jacen I PEE WHERE I WANT
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    Do not just take a laxative. You need magnesium and fiber first.
     
  21. cardeja12

    cardeja12 First Round Draft Pick
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    This should have it flowing in no time
     
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  22. W.D.E.

    W.D.E. All-American
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    Stick a finger up in there and twist...,,,
     
  23. papaskinz

    papaskinz First Round Draft Pick
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    Life cereal!!!!

    That stuff is intestinal napalm
     
  24. Fillup Marschell

    Fillup Marschell All-American
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    Take a stool softener then about 1 hr later use a Fleet enema. If still nothing go to the doctor asap. American Family Care should be open until 7
     
  25. Charles87

    Charles87 Redshirt Freshman
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    Miralax 2 to 5 days depending on how severe.
     
  26. zorak34

    zorak34 All-American
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    Buy 3 enema and you will be fine
     
  27. GFTempleton

    GFTempleton All-American
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    You may be in for som hemorrhoids as well.
     
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  28. Holly Springs Dawg 3

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    Well when your full do shit, these kind of things happen. Lol, just messin with ya. I hope you get it all worked out, pun intended.
     
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  29. GFTempleton

    GFTempleton All-American
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    Tough lesson about eating your veggies
     
  30. cardeja12

    cardeja12 First Round Draft Pick
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    Well how is it going today op?
     
  31. martinguitarpicker

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    Come to Tuscaloosa in 2 weeks. It may hurt because we are going in dry
     
  32. cardeja12

    cardeja12 First Round Draft Pick
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    How is your situation op? I am starting to worry
     
  33. cardeja12

    cardeja12 First Round Draft Pick
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    Has sepsis set in Allen?
     
  34. allen

    allen All-American
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    Took a bottle of magnesium citrate Saturday night around 6pm. That was my first mistake. That made sleeping that night interesting, and I will leave it at that. Been going every since then. Went to Urgent care yesterday, they ran test then sent me to the er for a CT scan. No issues on the CT scan, which is good news. They think I have an infection in my stomach and intestines . They've put me on 5 different prescriptions. Today is the first day I don't feel like I am running a fever constantly . Still can't eat or drink much and I have zero energy.
    Sorry it was so long. Thanks for asking.
     
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  35. allen

    allen All-American
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    Consumed plenty of veggies, salads and fruit. More then usual.
     
  36. AUnit

    AUnit All-American
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    This...and make sure you don't wear gloves or trim yore fingernails
     
  37. NICK60

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    Start taking acidophilus daily,keeps you in normal rythym,then next time this happens watch the replay of U the awbarn-dawg game,let the cleansing begin...
     
  38. FreeAUman85

    FreeAUman85 All-American
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    They sell self enemas at most drug stores. Sucks doing it but it will open the flood gates up quickly.
     
  39. allen

    allen All-American
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    If I have that happen again, I might try it. Doctors weren't sure what I had. They think I might have had an infection in my stomach and intestines.
     
  40. AUchiro

    AUchiro All-American
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    Mineral Oil will get the job done. Then Fleet Saline Enemas after everything is moving.

    WDE
     
  41. haywood58

    haywood58 Second Team
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    He's right as rain Bruh. Get some of that jet engine fuel and you'll be blasting in no time. Just stay close to the toity cos when it comes it comes! Voice of experience talking!
     
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