I built a scheduled fire behind my house before I left today. Built it this morning and told my wife and son, “don’t put it out, it’s controlled”, “it will burn for three days probably”. It was lit at 8:30 this morning and going strong, but contained, at 3:40 when I left. I even bragged on it lasting through the torrential downpour and showed my son how to feed it while I was out of town. Mrs Bob just called me to “tuck me in” and told me she put the fire out after 8 buckets of water. “Didn’t want to be at risk”. Let’s just say this. When I get home tomorrow afternoon, her new bed, her new clothes, new shoes, new fruit f’ing roll ups will be starting a new fire. You can punch me in the face, but you don’t put out my fire. I’ve contacted Snake Plisken to see if he needs a date. I’m done.
