I was on 85 headed toward Montgomery and some dude was driving 65mph in the left lane. I was in a hurry to get home so I grew very impatient as I was stuck behind him while we passed a group of eighteen wheelers that were going a little over 60mph. I tailgated his vehicle pretty close in hopes he would get the hint and speed up. He didn't. He plodded along at a snail's pace. We finally passed and he moved to the right lane. I gunned it by him and hit my cruising speed of 78.
I made it to Montgomery and got on 65 N headed toward home. Evidently I drank too much coffee while driving and the caffeine poops kicked in. I exited in Prattville and pulled into the first gas station I saw. My stomach was cramping and I was about to blow out my tidy whities.
I pulled into my parking spot and as I was stepping out of my vehicle the same slow ass car from the interstate whirl into the spot next to me almost taking me out. I hopped out of the way just in time. I was standing in front of the store staring at this car in disbelief when the first untrustworthy fart occurred. It sounded wet and I turned toward the front door to make my way to the crapper.
Before I made it inside I heard somebody screaming about me riding their ass on the highway. I turned and there stood in front of me some oulde wearing a polo that looked like it was from 1996. The best part was the $14.95 pair of shorts with attached belt pulled up 12 inches over the belly button. The oulde kept screaming. I tried to tune it out because I was only concerned with the pending Hershey waterfall that was about to cascade down my world class perfectly sculpted calves. I had enough so I screamed "I don't have time for an oulde crazy butch with bad tits and shorts pulled up to her nipples".
Next thing I know it felt like somebody hit me across the face with a sledge hammer. My ears started to ring and everything greyed out on me. I must have been out for a few seconds. I was laying on the ground when I realized I was going to need a new pair of pants. I attempted to get up when I saw the hardest hitting lesbian I have ever seen get into her car one white socked and sandaled foot at a time and drive off.
I made it to Montgomery and got on 65 N headed toward home. Evidently I drank too much coffee while driving and the caffeine poops kicked in. I exited in Prattville and pulled into the first gas station I saw. My stomach was cramping and I was about to blow out my tidy whities.
I pulled into my parking spot and as I was stepping out of my vehicle the same slow ass car from the interstate whirl into the spot next to me almost taking me out. I hopped out of the way just in time. I was standing in front of the store staring at this car in disbelief when the first untrustworthy fart occurred. It sounded wet and I turned toward the front door to make my way to the crapper.
Before I made it inside I heard somebody screaming about me riding their ass on the highway. I turned and there stood in front of me some oulde wearing a polo that looked like it was from 1996. The best part was the $14.95 pair of shorts with attached belt pulled up 12 inches over the belly button. The oulde kept screaming. I tried to tune it out because I was only concerned with the pending Hershey waterfall that was about to cascade down my world class perfectly sculpted calves. I had enough so I screamed "I don't have time for an oulde crazy butch with bad tits and shorts pulled up to her nipples".
Next thing I know it felt like somebody hit me across the face with a sledge hammer. My ears started to ring and everything greyed out on me. I must have been out for a few seconds. I was laying on the ground when I realized I was going to need a new pair of pants. I attempted to get up when I saw the hardest hitting lesbian I have ever seen get into her car one white socked and sandaled foot at a time and drive off.
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