My son turns 21 today.
It’s a long story, so if you dont want to read it, I don’t blame you, but if you do, I hope it gives you a blessing.
In January 2002, when my wife and I went for our ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby, we were thrilled to learn it was a baby boy. However, the doctor came in and told us that there was something wrong in the ultrasound. Our baby’s skull didn’t form in the back and part of his brain had leaked out into a sack. He had a genetic deformity called an occipital encephalocele.
We were told that he probably wouldn’t survive the pregnancy and if he did, he would have a very slight chance of living for 24 hours. If he did survive 24 hours, they gave us a 10% chance of him seeing his first birthday (did I mention he turns 21 today) In fact, we were encouraged to terminate the pregnancy, but being Christians, we decided that was out of the question and that we would love our baby boy no matter what happened or how long he lived.
Jacob survived the pregnancy and the first 24 hours, the doctors were amazed and surprised. The next day we were on ambulance to children’s hospital in birmingham for further tests and evaluations. They were not what we wanted to hear. They told us that he would probably be blind, deaf, wouldn’t be able to talk or walk, may not even recognize us or any of his family, wouldn’t be able to communicate with us and basically not have much of a quality of life. We were devastated of course and I remember thinking “Why me?” “I can’t handle this” “should we have had the abortion”. To say the least, it was a bad time in our lives.
Jacob ended up having brain surgery to remove the encephalocele at 10 days old and 10 days later, we took him home for the first time.
I’m not going to sit here and say that I have been the perfect dad. I have had many struggles with him. I even told him one time “I hated him when he was 2 and was having a crying fit”. I felt so bad after that and got down on my knees and begged God for forgiveness. I have felt frustrated, angry, mad, happy, proud and guilty and many other emotions at some point in the last 21 years and still struggle at times, but I know that God loves me and him.
Jacob loves his life. He can see, and boy, can he talk! He loves to go to school although this will be his last year. He loves to watch the news, especially WSFA in Montgomery (he knows all the personalities and when they are supposed to come on) and listen to the radio (legend’s Saturday night on WBAM is his favorite) He does require 24 hour care because, he can’t walk and still has to wear a diaper. He is very routine oriented and doesn’t like it when his routine is interrupted. Power outages are the worst! Everybody who knows Jacob, loves him dearly! My wife is the strongest person I know. She is amazing with him. We have a great extended family that will watch him for us, while we are able to escape for a day or two. I know we are able to do more than other families with special needs children.
Well, thank you for reading. It means a lot to me that I can share his story. I know that if there is one person in Heaven because of him, then Jacob has served his purpose here on Earth. God Bless you all!
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
It’s a long story, so if you dont want to read it, I don’t blame you, but if you do, I hope it gives you a blessing.
In January 2002, when my wife and I went for our ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby, we were thrilled to learn it was a baby boy. However, the doctor came in and told us that there was something wrong in the ultrasound. Our baby’s skull didn’t form in the back and part of his brain had leaked out into a sack. He had a genetic deformity called an occipital encephalocele.
We were told that he probably wouldn’t survive the pregnancy and if he did, he would have a very slight chance of living for 24 hours. If he did survive 24 hours, they gave us a 10% chance of him seeing his first birthday (did I mention he turns 21 today) In fact, we were encouraged to terminate the pregnancy, but being Christians, we decided that was out of the question and that we would love our baby boy no matter what happened or how long he lived.
Jacob survived the pregnancy and the first 24 hours, the doctors were amazed and surprised. The next day we were on ambulance to children’s hospital in birmingham for further tests and evaluations. They were not what we wanted to hear. They told us that he would probably be blind, deaf, wouldn’t be able to talk or walk, may not even recognize us or any of his family, wouldn’t be able to communicate with us and basically not have much of a quality of life. We were devastated of course and I remember thinking “Why me?” “I can’t handle this” “should we have had the abortion”. To say the least, it was a bad time in our lives.
Jacob ended up having brain surgery to remove the encephalocele at 10 days old and 10 days later, we took him home for the first time.
I’m not going to sit here and say that I have been the perfect dad. I have had many struggles with him. I even told him one time “I hated him when he was 2 and was having a crying fit”. I felt so bad after that and got down on my knees and begged God for forgiveness. I have felt frustrated, angry, mad, happy, proud and guilty and many other emotions at some point in the last 21 years and still struggle at times, but I know that God loves me and him.
Jacob loves his life. He can see, and boy, can he talk! He loves to go to school although this will be his last year. He loves to watch the news, especially WSFA in Montgomery (he knows all the personalities and when they are supposed to come on) and listen to the radio (legend’s Saturday night on WBAM is his favorite) He does require 24 hour care because, he can’t walk and still has to wear a diaper. He is very routine oriented and doesn’t like it when his routine is interrupted. Power outages are the worst! Everybody who knows Jacob, loves him dearly! My wife is the strongest person I know. She is amazing with him. We have a great extended family that will watch him for us, while we are able to escape for a day or two. I know we are able to do more than other families with special needs children.
Well, thank you for reading. It means a lot to me that I can share his story. I know that if there is one person in Heaven because of him, then Jacob has served his purpose here on Earth. God Bless you all!
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
