Well howdy once again neighbors! After a dismal collection of prognostications during this past bowl season, Ol’ Leonard was wondering if the Little Smart Pill Machine could pick the winner of an intra-squad scrimmage. After the carnage mercifully ended, the 2017 season concluded with 93-41 record. But now the 2018 pigskin campaign is finally upon us, and football divinities have seen fit to provide the congregation with an otherworldly slate to open the season. The Little Smart Pill Machine got an off season tune-up, and is ready to roll, so on to this week’s losers.
Auburn vs Washington:
Chris Petersen and his Iditarod team will leave the land of java snobs and public urination to mush their way south to Hotlanta for a season opening tilt against the Auburn Tigers. This contest will be the East Alabama Felines’ third consecutive trip to the Bird’s Nest in the Big Peach, and Gus Malzahn and his Tigers looked like they got drug through a knothole backwards after their previous visits to the sparkly new venue. The Tigers’ signal caller spent the entire off season planning nuptials and posting selfies, but don’t expect the Emerald City Hounds to be impressed by his magnificent jawline. The Huskies boast a stout returning stop unit, and they plan to leave paw prints on young Stidham and his GQ profile. The Plainsmen have an impressive front seven of their own and I look for the Tigers to have the Husky QB sweating like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee. Both squads will treat this as an early playoff game, and this one’s harder to pick than a broken nose. The Little Smart Pill Machine says look for the Tiger defense to shine in this one, and send the Huskies home with their tails between their legs. Leonard’s Loser, in a barn burner, Washington.
Now here’s Leonard’s list of likely losers:
Utah State will lose to Michigan State
San Diego State will lose to Stanford
LSU will lose to Miami
Army will lose to Duke
Western Michigan will lose to Syracuse
Notre Dame will lose to Michigan
Colorado State will lose to Colorado
Oregon State will lose to Ohio State
Florida Atlantic will lose to Oklahoma
Louisville will lose to Alabama
Maryland will lose to Texas
Texas Tech will lose to Ole Miss
Tennessee will lose to West Virginia
Virginia Tech will lose the Florida State
Another load o’ smart pills has been distributed. So I’ll just say for now… So long, neighbors! Get me out of here, Percy!
Auburn vs Washington:
Chris Petersen and his Iditarod team will leave the land of java snobs and public urination to mush their way south to Hotlanta for a season opening tilt against the Auburn Tigers. This contest will be the East Alabama Felines’ third consecutive trip to the Bird’s Nest in the Big Peach, and Gus Malzahn and his Tigers looked like they got drug through a knothole backwards after their previous visits to the sparkly new venue. The Tigers’ signal caller spent the entire off season planning nuptials and posting selfies, but don’t expect the Emerald City Hounds to be impressed by his magnificent jawline. The Huskies boast a stout returning stop unit, and they plan to leave paw prints on young Stidham and his GQ profile. The Plainsmen have an impressive front seven of their own and I look for the Tigers to have the Husky QB sweating like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee. Both squads will treat this as an early playoff game, and this one’s harder to pick than a broken nose. The Little Smart Pill Machine says look for the Tiger defense to shine in this one, and send the Huskies home with their tails between their legs. Leonard’s Loser, in a barn burner, Washington.
Now here’s Leonard’s list of likely losers:
Utah State will lose to Michigan State
San Diego State will lose to Stanford
LSU will lose to Miami
Army will lose to Duke
Western Michigan will lose to Syracuse
Notre Dame will lose to Michigan
Colorado State will lose to Colorado
Oregon State will lose to Ohio State
Florida Atlantic will lose to Oklahoma
Louisville will lose to Alabama
Maryland will lose to Texas
Texas Tech will lose to Ole Miss
Tennessee will lose to West Virginia
Virginia Tech will lose the Florida State
Another load o’ smart pills has been distributed. So I’ll just say for now… So long, neighbors! Get me out of here, Percy!
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